How Luna Conceived Her Second Child
by Girl Spoonerism
Summary: Title's self explanatory. xD


**A/N:** _Warning_-some stupid spur-of-the-moment H/L fluffiness below. The use of Crumpleberry Snorkack Pie permitted by **the quintessence of wyrd. **;)))

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"Harry, where's my Crumpleberry Snorkack Pie?"

"Hmm."

"Harry."

"Er, what?"

"Didn't you just hear me?"

"Oh…er, yeah."

"Are you watching the Quidditch tape Ron lent you?"

"Er, yeah."

"Did Slovakia win?"

"Er, yeah."

"How would you know this, Harry?"

"Because…"

"Because…?"

"Because I watched it fourteen times already. Okay?"

"Yes. I didn't get to tape that Crumple-Horned Snorkack documentary last week because of you."

"Sorry, Luna. It's just-"

"Never mind. Have you seen my Crumpleberry Snorkack Pie? It was on the counter last time I saw it. Did you perhaps eat it before you decided to settle comfortably on the sofa and watch your tape?"

"No."

"…"

"I swear. I didn't eat it."

"Hmm. Are you quite sure, then? Then where did it go?"

"I dunno."

"Open your mouth, Harry."

"Come again?"

"Open your mouth. I need to smell your breath."

"Come on, Luna, you don't trust me to tell you the truth? I didn't eat the pie."

"But I need irrefutable evidence."

"I love you. That's irrefutable evidence."

"Maybe a olipeckto came in and took the pie, then."

"Olipeckto?"

"Why yes, Harry. They're attracted to baked goods. Related to the _Giraffa camelopardalis_, the _Nigella damascena_, and the _Lepidoptera_ . Quite small, except in the jungles of South America. Those feast on-"

"Ok, ok. But, Luna?"

"Yes?"

"I highly doubt it."

"Doubt it?"

"That an oli-thingamagummy took your pie."

"Why not?"

"Well, because…"

"Harry, are you questioning my beliefs again?"

"No, 'course not…."

"Good. Now help me bake some cake."

"But…what? Why?"

"Because Harry, I would like to catch this olipeckto to study it. It will make an interesting article for the _Quibbler."_

"But…"

"Are you going to help me catch the olipeckto? I'll need some eggs, we're out of stock…"

"Ok fine then Luna, I did it."

"Did what now, Harry?"

"I ate the Crumpleberry Snorkack Pie, all right?"

"Harry, that's just terrible. Why did you lie to me?"

"I'm sorry, Luna. Now can I please go back to watching the tape? I have to give it back to Ron tomorrow morning, so…"

"No, I will not let you go back to watching the tape. You owe me a Crumpleberry Snorkack Pie, Harry, so you must bake another one for me. It serves you right for your greediness and deceit."

"But, Luna…! I'll bake you one tomorrow, I promise."

"No, right now, honey. I'm famished."

"We just ate dinner!"

"That was two hours ago. If you weren't so obsessed with watching the tape mayhap you would have noticed the time."

"It's getting late, Luna. If you eat before you go to bed, I heard from somewhere that you can gain weight easily."

"Are you implying that I am overweight now, Harry?"

"N-no. It just seems unhealthy…"

"So if I eat right before I go to bed, you would think less of me?"

"Ye-no!"

"I heard a yes. Well, if that's what you think."

"Luna, don't walk away from me like that. Luna! Ok, I lied! I didn't eat the pie! I just said that to get rid of you!"

"Come again?"

"I didn't eat the pie."

"Why are you always lying to me, Harry?"

"I'm sorry…?"

"Sorry isn't a spell; you can't cast it over me and assume it'll work every time."

"Luna, please."

"If an olipeckto took it, I'm going to the store to buy some eggs and bake a cake by myself."

"But, the Healer said you shouldn't Apparate when you're recovering from vanishing sickness."

"I am quite sure I can take this risk."

"But the side effects are-"

"I know the side effects, Harry. I'll be going now."

"No, don't go! Look, I'll go and make a Crumpleberry Snorkack Pie."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

"Thank you, Harry."

"Your wel-was that Pandora?"

"Oh! She's crying! I better go see what the fuss is about."

"Where is she?"

"In the high chair in the kitchen, where I left her. Pandora, sweetie?"

"What was wrong?"

"Mm, nothing that a nappy change didn't fix. And, Harry…"

"Yes?"

"I'm terribly sorry I accused you of wrongdoing."

"And what caused this change of heart?"

"Well, I noticed Pandora's hands were sticky and her mouth was purple. Plus, there were an awful lot of crumbs around. I suppose she flung the container someplace to hide the evidence. She did an awful job of it; I suppose she had forgotten to clean herself up. What a poor criminal she's turned out to be. Although that is a good thing, isn't it?"

"…"

"Harry, why are you smiling at me like that? I would be just livid if I were you. I'm an awful wife, to be making unheard-of false accusations."

"Luna, you're a wonderful wife. It was just a pie."

"I love you, Harry."

"I love you too."

"I'll leave you to your Quidditch tape, then."

"No, I've had enough of the television tonight. Let's say we do something else."

"Oh! Why don't we peruse last week's _Quibbler_ and try to spot all fifty-seven Fleekly Bombipoes hidden in the pages?"

"Actually, I had something else in mind."

"What, Harry? I detest guessing games and you're being so vague. Are you thinking of sampling some of that casserole that Hagrid owled you the other day? Because if so, I highly caution that y-"


End file.
